Monday, July 09, 2007

20 Days of Work Left

I know I'm indulging unproductive mental habits, but I'm totally counting down the days I have left in my job before it's time to make the final push in the move to New York. Hopefully, I'll have a few final projects to finish up to pass the time. Then, we're off to the next adventure.

Terry spent last week at our priest's cabin in the foothills of the Appalachians, and I was lucky to be able to join him for a few days for a wonderful spate of sabbath rest. There's no phone, no Internet, no radio or TV, no getting or spending to lay waste our powers. Just the voice of the river and play-time and cooking and being together. The cabin itself is very cozy and well-designed, too, with lots of natural wood and deck-space.

Last night, after getting back, we went over to K&M's to hang out, have a few drinks, and process the week. We ended up watching a show K had TiVo'd called something like, America's Messiest House Contest. People send in video of their messy house, and judges pick the messiest house for a makeover. Apparently, America's Messiest House is in Pascataway, NJ. Watching is almost a little painful, as the residents get called on the carpet and badgered to get rid of things, but the degree of sheer clutter in their house was truly sobering. The family chosen also had some lingering grief issues over a husband/father's untimely death and seemed to be expressing their inability to move forward in their surroundings.

From what I could tell, there were two major motivations for the kind of hoarding exhibited, which, though extreme, was different only in degree and not in kind from the accumulation of stuff many of us are prone to:

1) "That belonged to Daddy," or "That reminds me of my husband..." Having dealt with the detritus of my mother's life, I am particularly sympathetic to this one. For a long time, I couldn't bear to throw away anything in which I could discern her hand: nothing she wrote or knit or sewed or drew. I just couldn't bring myself to throw away any evidence of her having lived for fear of extinguishing her memory. Over time, I realized that I had no special attachment to a majority of these things and that I bore her memory in my very cells. Why should I haul around this stuff like a talisman? My mother's truest life is "hidden with Christ in God." (Colossians 3:3) I don't need to keep it safe by holding on to her things. So, I've kept a few things that have special meaning for me. The rest of I've thrown away or given away to folks who can enjoy them.

2) "You never know when I might need that (whatzits)..." This is a real demon of anxiety, preying on the minds of the living. Ironically, its voice is most vociferous in a culture like ours, which is, frankly, saturated with consumer goods. My amateur pet economic theory, derived from everything we went through to clean out our house when we moved, is that we live in an economy that produces a dizzying multitude of consumer goods whose only value is their newness. In other words, for the most part, we are not paying for utility or beauty or craftsmanship usually. We are simply paying for newness. And once we have taken the product off the shelf and paid the nice cashier for it, its value depreciates almost immediately to zero (or a negative value, since it will cost something to us or to the landfill or the environment to get rid of). What I'm discovering this summer, while I'm living without the majority of my worldly goods, is that I need a good bit less than I think. And not having to store or shuffle around or keep track of stuff I don't use is liberating in a biblical sense. It is a release from slavery. Granted, I'm looking forward to getting especially my books and our kitchen stuff back, but perhaps with a clearer sense that I'm using them, rather than they using me. Look at everything around: if it is not useful or beautiful or beloved, consider getting rid of it. It's a worthy exercise, and spiritually edifying.

3 comments:

Mama Pajama said...

aaah, you see what happens when I sit around waiting to go to a evening meeting? I click around to see who my blogger friends know...

and lo and behold...

weirdbird is connected to you!! I should be nosey more often, you never know who you'll stumble across!

peace to you and stay dry,
V

Mama Pajama said...

oh and great post by the way. :) I am cleaning house myself...the fastest way to lose weight.

Anonymous said...

But... but I *like* stuff.
Just kidding. (Sort of.) Wonderful post...